Coward

Is it better to curl in a ball?  Hide away?  Shut down, rather than constantly hurting the people you love?

I have found in life that when I go to far in revealing my true personality, I hurt someone.  Constantly.  Every time.  It creates a dilemma.  I hate hurting people, I despise people who do.  And what do I do but hurt someone?  That is why I am a coward.  I don't confront my problems head on... I hide away.  I shut down.  I make sure that people never see too much of the real me because it is only ever trouble.

Is it stupid? Definitely.  Pathetic? Yes.  Should I be better about functioning like a human being, realizing no one is perfect?  Absolutely.  It doesn't make it less hard though.  It is so much easier to just disappear, vanish, and show only a little of the depth of my character. And then I have to convince myself, isn't it safer that way?